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Rekha Agrawal

of

Chandausi & Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh, India

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My Heartless Mother

by

Rekha Agrawal

I heard
my heartless mother was dyeing with a disease of heart.

I decided to open her heart
to see there
the depth of 'ignoring' my existence
the hieght of 'criticisizing' my deeds
the extent of being 'cruel' with me &
the volume of the 'hatred' she had for me

I disected the heart of my dead mother

It was covered with a big red bag
I could see the volume of 'hatred'
she had for me

I opened it slowly
slowly and slowly
a tough surface was touched to my scissor
I saw it carefully
It was a shell
labelled as 'Ignoring'

I hammered it
the shell was broken into two
two slits started flowilng out
some semi-liquid formations started appearing
hugging my forks & scissor
what were those
perhaps the arms of my mother
wishing
to hug me
to accecpt me as I was
then why
she ignored me through out her life?
what does this shell of 'Ignorning' mean?
This was perhaps her ignorning of my undesirable behaviour
I am feeling my mothers warm arms arround me
saying me

You are all mine
You are all mine

My hands started trumbling
It became difficult for me
to open my mother's heart futher
but I had to do it

I shifted to the next chamber of my mother's heart
I found two almond shape objects in it
I could not understand what were those
What they could be?
I could not guess

There was a thin membrane covering to them
I removed the membrane with the help of my fork
Oh!
These were the eyes of my mother
smiling & full of pride
praising and appreciating me and my efforts like anything
Then why every time she showed her stoned eyes to me
making me feel that I was worthless
Perhaps it was for the sake that I could do much better
I could not put the membrane back on my mother' eyes
These were the Jeevan Sanjeevani for me

My scissor and forks were felt down
I started feeling drowzing
I do not know when I felt asleep
I was in deep sleep having a dream
I am wounded and someone is putting soft and cool cotton on it
I opened my eyes
These were the soft lips of my mother
kissing my forehead
Again the same question
Why she was so cruel?
Her lips explained that
it was not cruelity
it was simply some strictness
to shape my behaviour
Oh!
How I misunderstood her

I asked my mother to appolige me
Her eyes smiled
She extended her hands towards me

I stepped ahead
to get into the arms of my mother
Her long warm arms were arround me

I put my head on the center of her heart
the nuclie of the heart was burst
small aromatic bubbles started bubbling out of it
spreading the aroma here and there, everywhere
What aroma was that?

I recognized it
It was the aroma of MY MOTHER'S LOVE
The love which is eternal & immortal

I love my mother

For all Sons and daughters