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Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

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Meerut, Uttar Predesh, India

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THE FOUR FACES OF EVE

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

The Spring of a womanís life heralds
The joyous awakening of beauty infinite,
Delicate anklets of silver on arched feet tinkle,
The whisper of emerald leaves-gaiety unlimited,
The fragrant cascade of midnight tresses,
The swift lowering of lashes over velvet-brown lakes,
The half-breathless charm of tender, lilting voice,
The impatient_.the uncertainty_.the aliveness-
All that God for Spring makes.

Summer comes like a sudden sprinkling of gold dust
Over the tender moss-green of springís canvas,
As the shy, blushing sun, peeping over the hills,
Unfurls its golden, golden petals in the skyís sapphire vase,
The sedate steps, the neat tresses, the mysterious oceans of brown,
The golden warmth of affection, the love in a motherís smile,

The wine in that slender vessel ripens,
The depth_. The pain_. The greatness_the self-realization-
Eveís Summer covers many a mile.
The grand finale of Summer, its last russettt breath, Autumn.
The leaves turned fired red and golden brown,
So does experience glow out of deep eyes, a little tired
As Age spreads her gossamer lace around those pools,
Laughter comes occasional visitor but its arrival is always meaningful,
Long , mellow days spent writing letters to far away-away daughters,
The companionship between she and he deepens, calmness the natural rule,
The wisdom_. the mellowness_the maturity-
Autumnís depth comes to stay.

The last step taken on slightly trembling legs- Winters comes,
The once-raven strands glint silvery-grey in the sun,
The beauty remains in the old brown eyes, the soft quite tones,
Small grandchildren sit in her warm lap, spin tales and fun
The fine lines spread out on her serene face, eyes aglow with laughter,
Making sweets for her grand children, chasing them in the yard,
Gnarled fingers teaching unsure little fingers to knit,
The waiting_ the serenity_ the peace at last-
Eve in her Winters holds the final card.


LOVE OF MY LIFE

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

A zest for life, a grace divine
More intoxicating than wine.
Carefree nature and wild, wild ways,
You always make my mind sway!

Bouncing black hair and coal- dark eyes,
Remind me of monsoon skies,
A spring in your step elevates my mood,
Hey, nosey rain, do not intrude!

As the wind caresses your lovely form,
And the waves rush to feel your charm,
What chance do I stand?
Against nature's wicked game plan?

There is no truth but love;
Lovely as the blue skies above.
There is no reality but bliss,
So there! Let me taste your lips.

Let me hold you in my arms,
And protect you from all harm,
Life is too cruel, my dear!
But, I am here, do you hear?

Spend an eternity with me,
I shall never tire of you,
Remind me when day breaks,
For, yet again, I will want to hold you.

ME

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal


Like the patch on the ground,
I lie in humble earth,
Crowing the brow,
I was snapped off, my adobe.

No home no destination,
What do I retrace or discover,
Where do I belong,
Lost here I often Wonder.

No names, no dates,
No address to go by,
No friends ,no foes,
No one to rely.
The wind is not my friend,
It sings of no past.
It sweeps me away wherever,
I touch some strings of the heart.

Some passers-by,
Through not interested
I stay here,
And first look
What ,when, where why.
I know not,
I am Who?
Some talk of me ,
And sympathies,
Some trample,
Under feet
No thought, no voice,
No path to tread
Upto horizon uncertainty.
My rustlings do not have effect,
For pleadings-ears are none.
My walking by your side in naught,
My existence is not done.
And yet in very you,
Is ME
No footprints-behind, ahead.
I pity thought
Itís all so sad
You observe so less.

LOVE YOU IN SILENCE

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

You came into my life
Quietly, simply, tenderly...
The world stood still
I could not say a word
Nor a single gestured showed.

The feeling kept in my heart
So I've loved you in silence
Worshipped you from a distance
And dreamt of you so often.

I want to say I Love You,
But I'm afraid...
Afraid that you'll just take it for granted.
In silence then, I'll just love you.
In silence I'll find...
The fulfillment of my dreams

ME

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal


Like the patch on the ground,
I lie in humble earth,
Crowing the brow,
I was snapped off, my adobe.

No home no destination,
What do I retrace or discover,
Where do I belong,
Lost here I often Wonder.

No names, no dates,
No address to go by,
No friends ,no foes,
No one to rely.
The wind is not my friend,
It sings of no past.
It sweeps me away wherever,
I touch some strings of the heart.

Some passers-by,
Through not interested
I stay here,
And first look
What ,when, where why.
I know not,
I am Who?
Some talk of me ,
And sympathies,
Some trample,
Under feet
No thought, no voice,
No path to tread
Upto horizon uncertainty.
My rustlings do not have effect,
For pleadings-ears are none.
My walking by your side in naught,
My existence is not done.
And yet in very you,
Is ME
No footprints-behind, ahead.
I pity thought
Itís all so sad
You observe so less.

LOVE YOU IN SILENCE

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

You came into my life
Quietly, simply, tenderly...
The world stood still
I could not say a word
Nor a single gestured showed.

The feeling kept in my heart
So I've loved you in silence
Worshipped you from a distance
And dreamt of you so often.

I want to say I Love You,
But I'm afraid...
Afraid that you'll just take it for granted.
In silence then, I'll just love you.
In silence I'll find...
The fulfillment of my dreams

A BETTER TOMORROW

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal


I never knew there would be a better tomorrow
But you've come into my life and taken away all my sorrow

My days of sadness are a thing of the past
Because I have found true love at last

My days of emptiness are gone for good
Because you fill a void in my heart that you should

You've opened a window
You've shown me the light
And my love for you will continue to burn bright

Memories

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

They say, memories get discoloured and eventually fade,
But I seem to remember them, in each colour and shade
As in flitting across the page of an album,each picture,
brings back a thousand memories and one wipes off the
dust to recollect each more vividly, clearly.
I try to capture each moment,spent with you,live and
relive it.
Each place reminding me for you, standing there,
as I reachout, no one is there.Your faults to me, like open
seams stare
To point them out to me,who would dare?
Sometimes i feel you realy care.
People say everything is fair.
But I don't want guilt to hinder our paths
Reason, blinds me to the love in your heart.
So many words unexchanged, so many thoughts to share,
I'd like to recount them, but no one is there.
Time slipped out like a handful of sand,
Today too I am yours to command.
Give it time,give it reason.
Think it over,on another season.
I remember you often, more than I should,
I try to forget only if i could.
We meet and we part, but we shouldn't lose heart.
It is right all is for good
Memories will remain, as they should.

Beating Wind, Crying Tree

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Whistling a tune
he finds a way into her heart,

charmed by his breeze
her limbs sway to his music.

Spring urges this bond to flourish
little did she know....

love can play a trick.

The breeze becomes savior to a growing tree
gradually...
she notices his raging whirlwind.

Beating wind reveals his true identity
as whips of his anger falls upon her
auburn body.

Soft breeze who used to embrace now lashes her
shamelessly;

In one breath she fell...

into his whispers of lies
throwing her carefree days,
her life into the wind.

Aches of stolen love drips from her limbs
caught in his storm....
a crying tree droops.

A MILLION TIMES

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

I have seen you a million times
And every time I see you
I fall in love with you all over again
My heart starts to race
My frown turns into a smile
And all my worries are now in my past
When you smile at me my heart melts
You give the sweetest hugs
Every time you hug me
Your smile is like a new day
Your sense of humor is like no other
The ability you have to make me smile
Is all you need you love me
Your laugh is so soft and sweet
Just looking in your eyes
Makes me melt inside
Your lips look so soft
Soft enough to kiss
You, yourself relive me from all pain
Your hands are as soft as a pillow
The way you comfort me is amazing
Every time we say good-bye
I start to cry
I say good-bye to you too many times
I said good-bye to you a million times

BEHIND THE CLOAK

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal


Hiding below the surface of reality
Have found refugee in the hands of fantasy
Illusion is what lies ahead
Stimulating my crazy head

The clock tic tacs as the time passes away
All I can think is you in my memory
In my soul youíve been engraved, deep within
And keep you there, odd things between

Canít seem to touch with my grasp
I canít longer hold on with my clasp
It is strange youíre not so far
It is shows that you really are

Cool exterior is my false faÁade
Like a pompous admiration is what I hide
Canít stop to think of you everyday
It turns out I am already in disarray
Your voice is like a gentle whisper
Your thoughts always made me wonder
Your smile if the curable answer
To all these things that makes me whimper

I am embrace with invisibility
I have this unnoticed agility
Invaded by hollowness
Torn asunder thoughts, its craziness

Sometimes I think your mirage, a illusion
Ironically you have a different devotion
Donít know when to get it all out in these walls
Confuse and sandwich still between truth and false

Still I Rise

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

ust like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Phenomenal Woman

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Dreams

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow

The In-Between Time

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

The in-between time
after love has gone
is filled with wonderment,
waiting for the heart
to cry out again in joy
because someone smiles
and says h...

Heart

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Who am I?
I am one with
the bright light
an integral part
of the earth

I shine like
the sun
and melt like
the snow

I'm a sliver
of grass
hidden from you
but still close

Do you need love?
Are you hurt?

I give my
wholeness only
complete with
love when
humbled to
your needs

Filled with
compassion and
hope just for
you this new
spring morning.

Unconditional Love

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

For years I was your lustful toy, emotionally, physically- battered and torn,

No hope for a heart whose path was less treaded by love, one whose path was brutally worn,

How can you buy what a person has sold you, if neither of your stores are open?

Meaning -none of the hearts that partake in this thing call love are producing a product,

Logic says when one hurts you it should be over, but trying harder says you gain a profit,

True-no one wants to be alone, no one wants to play the fool either, but we do!

I unconditionally loved you but now I'm glad we're through.

But the thing about a man named GOD, he told me that is the past

That those who are last shall be first, and those who are first shall soon be last

I don't regret loving you, I regret the bridge didn't burn too fast

See what hurts a man is when you stop moping over the pain, MAKE yourself a name,

Stop worrying about being what he has and start being proud to be what he had!

Love

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Love is a gentle caring
a quiet concern
deeply hidden in the heart.

A presence always felt
everyday, every minute, every hour.

Love is a gentle embrace
between body and soul.

A quiet touch of the hand
a soft hug by warm arms
a caress of two souls.

Love is a great passion
between hungry hearts.

The intimate exchange
between mind, body and soul.

Love is always caring
always growing
always being there.

Love is a wonderful gift
shared by two blessed souls
experiencing Heaven an Earth.

The In-Between Time

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

The in-between time
after love has gone
is filled with wonderment,
waiting for the heart
to cry out again in joy
because someone smiles
and says h...

Heart

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Who am I?
I am one with
the bright light
an integral part
of the earth

I shine like
the sun
and melt like
the snow

I'm a sliver
of grass
hidden from you
but still close

Do you need love?
Are you hurt?

I give my
wholeness only
complete with
love when
humbled to
your needs

Filled with
compassion and
hope just for
you this new
spring morning.

Unconditional Love

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

For years I was your lustful toy, emotionally, physically- battered and torn,

No hope for a heart whose path was less treaded by love, one whose path was brutally worn,

How can you buy what a person has sold you, if neither of your stores are open?

Meaning -none of the hearts that partake in this thing call love are producing a product,

Logic says when one hurts you it should be over, but trying harder says you gain a profit,

True-no one wants to be alone, no one wants to play the fool either, but we do!

I unconditionally loved you but now I'm glad we're through.

But the thing about a man named GOD, he told me that is the past

That those who are last shall be first, and those who are first shall soon be last

I don't regret loving you, I regret the bridge didn't burn too fast

See what hurts a man is when you stop moping over the pain, MAKE yourself a name,

Stop worrying about being what he has and start being proud to be what he had!

Love

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Love is a gentle caring
a quiet concern
deeply hidden in the heart.

A presence always felt
everyday, every minute, every hour.

Love is a gentle embrace
between body and soul.

A quiet touch of the hand
a soft hug by warm arms
a caress of two souls.

Love is a great passion
between hungry hearts.

The intimate exchange
between mind, body and soul.

Love is always caring
always growing
always being there.

Love is a wonderful gift
shared by two blessed souls
experiencing Heaven an Earth.

COMPLICATED

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Serene environs, caressing breeze,
birds chirping on a tree with not so many leaves.
Sauntering by the roads crease,
a hand on my shoulder made me pirouette.
Bespectacled, a stubble he wore.
Years had gone by, since we spoke.
He shook my hands with expressions demure.
We talked a little but remained silent more.
My phone rang and bellowed
bringing conversation to a halt.
ĎHome callingí it showed,
seeking in some urgent dart.
Elucidating him, departed I.
Feeling a magnetism, I turned about.
A soft smile on his lips and look intent in his eye
inrushed in me a strange affliction
tending to overcome the strings so tout.
Memories were streaming in before my eyes
when we used to chat and banter sprightly.
His irksome and insane caprice,
my wanton riposte and titter in reply.

After he left, it was nothing I could regale in.
The world around seemed otherwise and bland.
Eventually I realized it was him
and the void in my heart I did comprehend
The door opened and broke my flashback
A friend of mine was to be betrothed.
Spotting him at the ceremony, I was taken aback.
Out of the din he surfaced.
For a split second, my heart skipped a beat.
Glanced away to draw in breadth,
bolstered my will, looked up and our eyes did meet.
His unwavering and dark eyes mellowed me like in sun,
a left chocolate.
A moment followed-everything tacit astute,
devoured in each otherís face,
dissolved in emotions, but words inarticulate,
smitten by love, an unending maze.

All I want to be is me!

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

I want my individuality to prevail!!!
Right from beginning of my life,
Expectations were mounding.
My soul was torn amid strife,
A distant voice in my heart was sounding.
Tíwas tough to find my glee
All I want to be is me_.
I want my individuality to prevail,
Itís a mountain I am yet to scale_.
I want to hear the voice in my head,
And sing the song of soul aloud;
Fly out of the captivity in which I bred,
Unveil the self-concealed with shroud.
Rise and shine for everyone to see,
All I want to be is me_..
I want my individuality to prevail,
A tumultuous ocean I am yet to sail_
My soul in ferocious battle divorced heart,
That battered heart, I doubt existed,
The perforated soul ready to rip apart,
Life seeping out, memories misted.
Searching souls, to answer my plea,
All I want to be is me_
I want my individuality to prevail,
I am yet to cross this haunted dale_

The Rove of Love

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Gone are those days,
When to empty doorways, life dawned.
Gone are those days,
When to melancholy music, strings tuned_
Gone are those days of,
Wandering eyes and outstretched arms that seek,
A kindred spirit, a touch of life, a streak of light_..
Empty doorways, swung open one day,
Breathing life, flooding light.
Torrents of darkness, broken apart when,
Piercing the dark clouds of fate you came,
Feet no longer hurt on rock beds of life when,
Upon my wings you lifted me up.
Tears washed away past lifeís horizons when,
Waves of hope came crashing ashore.
As innocent as a child you are ,
As pure as the morning dew,
No cages confine you,
No prejudices mislead you....
Whenever you feel lost in the milling crowd,
When you feel the dragging or darkness creeping in,
I stand here to receive you,
With arms wide open. . .

The Nobodiest Somebody

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Once there was nobody
who spent much of his time
preoccupied with becoming somebody

He required certain people and things
to embark upon somebodyhood
ítwas a trying task indeed
this climb from nobody to somebodyship

Alas

Somewhere along the road
from nobody to somebody
somebody found himself to be
part somebody
part nobody
but more somebody than nobody

Aha

So this is what it feels like to be a somebody,
thought once-nobody
as he wore his somebody hat
and met fellow somebodies
to discuss some things
(unknown to nobodies)

Iím someone!
thought somebody
as he walked with busybodies
somewhere
where somebodies summer
(or winter)

Iím not nobody
proclaimed somebody
which makes me a sure somebody
and no longer nobody

But then

Somebody met nobody
who was once somebody
ítwas confusing for both somebody and nobody

Their discussion lasted well into the night

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, could not somebody have heard it too?

Nobody agreed that somebody might hear the falling tree but . . .

Alas!

Sounds heard by somebody are different than sounds heard by nobody

Oh to be somebody turned nobody

Oh to be nobody turned somebody

Whom to be?

Nobody knew

Nobody and somebody decided to trade hats so that each would know how it felt to be in the otherís shoes

But somebody remembered his nobodyhood
and nobody remembered his somebodyhood

Which is exactly how it was meant to be from the very beginning of somebodyship

Fill the Empty Spaces

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Fill the empty spaces of your heart
The vacant crevices of your soul
With that which completes you
That which enhances the inner peace within you
Search for the wisdom you once lost at birth
Discover the beauty in your uncovered truth
Knowledge to hold true throughout time
Each discovery another symbol or sign
To the overarching Spirit encompassing it all
Vast and limitless Its presence overwhelms
Every crevice or space in your realm
of confusion and illusion
of frustration and delusion
Its presence transforms that which is inconceivable
Into that which is undeniable
With each step you take you're unstoppable
For in limitless love anything is possible

I Want to Climb

by

Dr. Sarika Dubey Agarwal

Waking up each day
Preparing for the flight
So worried not to lose my grip
So tired of the fight
Holding on with such fear
So tight that I need to calm down
So I loosen my grip to see the sights
Just for a moment I look at the ground
Such splendor all around me
So much to see and do
I forget about my journey
Now my grip on higher sights is gone
Iv'e fallen very low
I look up to where I was before
but I'm too tired to give it a go
But how I yearn to be back to where I was before
Although I can't see ...it's not clear
I remember how I felt while there
My strength layered with fear
It's too hard to make the climb again
So much easier to stay down
I can see the sights up close now
I see the good in staying down
Yet the longer I stay here
very low to the ground
I have a constant nagging feeling
that I will surely drown
I can't choose to stay in one place
The laws of gravity push down
and if I don't actively climb
I will surely drown
So, how do I do this?
I'm tired and out of strength
Everytime I make the climb
I fall back to this place
Before I held on with all my strength
I grasped with all my might
But it seems that the tighter I held on
the more quickly I would lose my fight
What's the answer?
How can I stay high?
How do I keep from slipping
to the bottom and to my demise?
I want to keep climbing
I do...I really do!
But I don't know how to stay above
To keep the climbing new
I want to climb without the fear
I want to feel so free
I want to climb without the stress
without all the strife and worry
I want to enjoy the climb
See the sights, but without looking down
I want to climb towards the King
I want to reach the crown

So please tell me what to do
Help me with this struggle called life
I'm tired of the constant ups and downs
I'm tired of the strife.