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Shabnam Abubaker

of

Bloemfontein, Bloemfontein, South Africa

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slave...

by

Shabnam Abubaker

Can this be true? That I am your slave
And you my knight in shining armour?
Ask and thou shall receive on a silver platter.
"Voulez vous tu chez avec moi" is your request.
I shall submit to your demand and concentrate on you.

The cuffs are unyielding
I have given myself to you
You are mine and I am yours forever
I shall make sweet love to you
And will not let go, until you ask me to.
You turn my fire on; ashes and smoke are all that I see
Your strong body against my helpless body_
Swiftly the room evolves, from like to love and then to lust

My lips sealed,
I cry with joyful pain for help.
The breathing is extraordinary, so is everything else.
Yearning is all I can hear,
But I cannot take anymore.
Silence
I look into your eyes and you look into mine.
I roll back from denial as I look at you
I hold onto your body, and feel each move.
It is all brought to a standstill
I have surrendered myself to you_


Foreigners and Aliens

by

Shabnam Abubaker

They dance to the wrong music
The music of who others want them to dance to
But they donít want to retune
They swim against time
But they donít take rule
They were falling into their marble vaults

Do they belong to their casts?
They were alienated I tell you
Alienated from mind, body and soul
Why didnít they let their wings down and experience it?
Flying high like a bird.
They didnít see the signs did they?
The supernatural divinity

Providence tried to wake them
But they slept
He didnít want to take them over
He did give them room
They were alienated I tell you

And this is what happened to them_

Music of my heart

by

Shabnam Abubaker

My Darling, it is only fair that I should
Let you know what you should know_
The music my heart plays when you are near,
Is too precious, and too wonderful
Too beautiful for words.
Itís hard to explain, a unique symphony inside.

Look into my eyes and you will see it all.
The power of love playing in my heart over and over.
A love that I could not forsake_
Making you hear the sound of my heart
From the tip of my tongue to yours_

I wanted to tell them

by

Shabnam Abubaker

I wanted to tell them, I really did.
The charlatans aside, I wanted to tell her that I wanted a home and not a house.
I wanted to tell him that I would have preferred feet than wheels.
Instead they continued to indulge dogmatically.
I wanted to tell them, honest to God I did.
To the one who lived down the road, I sought to tell you how you bowed it from black to white.
The windows shattered and I still did want to tell them about the blight.
Yet they were deaf_
I wanted to tell them, I promise I did.

The ones with the laughs I wanted to tell you how I yearned.
I wanted to tell them that I wanted cotton and not silk or satin.
I wanted to tell them that life is inevitable.
I wanted to convey to her that Ďlife just isnítí.
As an alternative they all just intoxicated.
I wanted to tell him to untie himself from the leashes.
The one in black I wanted to acquaint to you veracity.
I declared war as a method,
So did the others.
I swear, I promise, I pledge, I assure you, I wanted to tell them, I did.

Marching in were the charlatans.
I wanted to tell them to be blind.
I wanted to show them not to feign.
I conspired to detain them for life.
Yet I was left with one question, is it meriting?

Ultimately when the windows were basted I did.
I took my weapons out and finally declared war again.
I swear to you I intentioned_

Hush, hush, hush a carcass arrives.

Broken

by

Shabnam Abubaker

So close we were
So secure we were
So much trust we had
So sure we were
So many stories we had
So many memories we shared
So many dreams we had
So many promises we had
And so the story went_

KAPISH

What happened?
What did I do?
It wasnít me_
Allah alone knows it wasnít me
I told you she didnít fancy me
I told you this and that
Did you listen?
NO
Then why?
I may not know the reality
But someone does_

BANG

The closeness turned to distance
Security turned to insecurity
Trust turned to lies
Sure became unsure
The stories became fairy-tales
Memories faded
Dreams remained dreams
And promises were broken_

We became strangers
You let my hand go
My wings fell
I may not surrender
Because my intentions were clear
Though it is obvious not everyone had the same intentions
I told you Allah knows best_

Broken

by

Shabnam Abubaker

So close we were
So secure we were
So much trust we had
So sure we were
So many stories we had
So many memories we shared
So many dreams we had
So many promises we had
And so the story went_

KAPISH

What happened?
What did I do?
It wasnít me_
Allah alone knows it wasnít me
I told you she didnít fancy me
I told you this and that
Did you listen?
NO
Then why?
I may not know the reality
But someone does_

BANG

The closeness turned to distance
Security turned to insecurity
Trust turned to lies
Sure became unsure
The stories became fairy-tales
Memories faded
Dreams remained dreams
And promises were broken_

We became strangers
You let my hand go
My wings fell
I may not surrender
Because my intentions were clear
Though it is obvious not everyone had the same intentions
I told you Allah knows best_

Mother 1 vs Mother 2

by

Shabnam Abubaker

I was blinded by your modesty mother 2
You betrayed me while I betrayed others
You denied them warmth
You denied them the truth
A heart of granite I must say
Or rather a diamond, for a diamond looks pretty but is hard and emotionless
Pretence
Promises
Stories
Fallacies
May Allah forgive us all, and may we find it in our hearts to forgive each other.
You donít know what itís like
For you only have the dominating ones and not the sensitive ones
You had said this and now you say that_
You led me on_
Who am I, if you led THEM on as well
If they only knew
You might have tricked them, but not me
You might have tricked me once but I wont let you trick me twice

Mother 1, forgive me for it all
A true mother
Who will always forgive
Not lie and wish for the best
You were right all along
I have now learnt, the hard way
I am bruised, it is my fault
YET
You mother 1 are here for me
Despite the hurt I caused
The pain_
A true mother with a heart so pure
With so much warmth you fed us
So much goodness
Why didnít I see it before?
I beg for your forgiveness
I pray that Allah grant you happiness and
Allah give you ten times worth of what you have given me
One in a million, you do not pretend
How I wish I could be like you
They are different mother
They are not like us
They lie mommy
They have lost their morality mommy
Please please please protect me from them
I fear them with hearts of granite
You understand the concept of evil eyes
She didnít
She lied about the flowers
She lied about the laughs
Mommy, my own true mommy
The one I love
The one I would never want to exchange_