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J S A

of

Abilene, TX, US

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Once Too Many

by

J S A

Itís too bad it came to this
When I thought we were starting new.
But once again you decided to act
Before thinking it through.

And to think I almost believed
The words you said to me.
But to believe in them all again
Would be pure stupidity.

I donít have time for games
And I donít have time for lies.
How can our relationship last
When Iím the only one that tries?

You may tell yourself you can change
The things you say and do.
But then you would only be doing
What you do to me--to you.

The anger runs deep in my veins
And it is a difficult thing to treat.
Not to mention that it can never heal
With premeditated lies and deceit.

I have no reason to think youíll change--
No evidence, no support.
The only thing I have is your word,
Which is worth nothing in my court.

So say what you will and do as you wish
But I know one thing is true:
I can be deceived once and forgive,
But the second time Iím the fool.


It is Time

by

J S A

There was something deep within
When our love was new
Every minute was an adventure
And you would make my dreams come true

With you I felt I could conquer the beasts
That tried to keep me down
You always tried to give me strength
And take away my frown

But what was there before is gone
And you no longer care
I am left to my own defenses
Because you are never there

When every passing day just brings
Heartache and more tears
I know you no longer try
To calm my growing fears

How I wanted it to last
And how I tried to see
Why I wasnít worth your time
And what I could change with me

The agony of not knowing why
You where indifferent and cold
Were only accentuated by
The horrible things you told

Words of love and compassion
Were replaced with words of hate
You spoke to me like an enemy
Who had come to meet her fate

I guess I did not express enough
How I wanted us to be
And now the one that has to pay
Is not you_but me

If I train you how to treat me,
With every action that I take
Every decision I made, it seems,
Was a big mistake

But like every other thing in life
You must learn and teach
I have learned so much from this
And will forever preach:

When wanting him is not enough
It is time for him know
When loving him is not enough
It is time to let him go_


The Hidden Danger

by

J S A

Chittering and chattering your life away
With anonymous friends that will not stay
Across distant places throughout the land
Saying things worth a grain of sand

Never turning to the ones you should
For resolving the issues that you could
Getting advice from a computer screen
From people that are never who they seem

Accepting smileys and replies
To serious topics that cause demise
Shallow and meaningless is the one
Consumed with pointless internet fun

I am real and I am here
With a tangible presence that is clear
I do not express emotions with the keys
And find no comfort with one none sees

How sad it is when it comes to this
When the one you are with is the one you miss
Their body is here, but their mind is not
Knowing that one day they will get caught

From them you must stay clear and beware
For I tell you this commonality they share
Their lives are woven together with a single thread:
Seeking refuge from the one with which they share a bed

Destiny's Lane

by

J S A

The agony of betrayal and deceit
A feeling no one should face.
Salacious pastimes with "them", not you
Have proven him a disgrace.

So what does one do when faced with a choice
Of leaving or to stay?
Can he ever change his way
Before we are old and gray?

Perhaps I can just even the score
By going out late one night.
Doing perverted, unspeakable things
To strangers in the light.

Then should I tell him my secret night acts--
What I had done on a whim?
Or keep it bottled up deep inside
As my own pleasurable sin?

He has hurt you, why not him?
Tell him of your crime!
And comfort his broken heart with his wordsó
"Darling, just give it some time_"

But why should you play such horrible games
When no one ever wins?
The cycle of hurting continues it course
As you each continue your sins.

Sometimes itís best when you decide to let go
Of the turmoil and the pain.
So begin anew, with added strength
Going down destinyís lane.

Declaration of Independence

by

J S A

I wash my hands of you_you SLIME!
You worthless, pathetic germ.
I donít want your kind around.
From you I have nothing to learn.

So pack! Get up! Get out of here!
No one wants you, you see?
I canít stand your disgusting face---
The one no one sees but me.

I can, and will, move on from here.
I donít want you in my life.
I canít wait for the day to come
When I am no longer YOUR wife!

Stephanie

by

J S A

I try to imagine all of your pain
The troubles you keep inside
Living a life of constant downs
Smiling and telling lies

Though Iíve never had your life
I know that itís been tough
And looking in your eyes I know
That you have had enough

Why canít you see how good you are?
How special, smart, and sweet
You are beautiful, kind, and considerate
Someone anyone would want to meet

Pay no attention to those around
That try to tear you down
They can win, but at what cost?
For them victory is a frown

Be proud of you, of who you are
And who you will one day be
And the forces bearing down on you
Will disappear magically

I can see the You within
The one that you always hide
Sheís even more lovely than you know
She is tired of being inside.

Act of Contrition

by

J S A

A life was taken by a choice
A child that will never be kissed
Know that you live in my memories
And will forever be missed

I never will see your smiling face
Or comfort your deepest fear
Oh how I wish I could turn back time
And have the courage to have you here

I may act strong and seem as though
My heart is made of ice
But itís only because of guilt and shame
For not being able to give you life

I weep silent tears for you at night
When no one is there to see
Tears of regret, sadness, and loss
For not having you here with me

I know I would have loved you
But I was weak and so afraid
Now I know my selfish choice
Was the biggest mistake I made

Iím sorry for not giving a chance
To a child that had no say
I think about you now and will
Remember you when I am gray

Edumacation

by

J S A

Iíz been to skool and learnt some stuff
But Iíz gots to tell you that itís been tuff
After lots of time and lots of tryiní
Iím finaly done--and I ainít lyiní

I learnt about the parotts and bees
I knows my Aís, and 1, 2, Cís
I knows how to read and I knows how to rite
My spellinís not good, but it one day mite

My name be Bill and Iím 23
And I just gots my G.E.D.
I might go to college to get a degree
And finish when Iím 43

My New Love

by

J S A

I love another who's not the same.
He is just one-of-a-kind.

He does not hurt; He does not play
Those meaningless games with my mind.

He's honest and caring; He goes out of his way
To make sure that I am fine.
With him I am alive again.
And I am so happy he is mine.

My life before was incomplete--
Desolate and oppressed.
With him I am refreshed once more--
No longer feeling depressed.

I can't believe it took this long
To find my only love.
He has been given as a gift
Straight from Heaven above.

No more will I go back to life
The way it was before.
Where constant bickering and contempt
Were our aims to settle the score.

Life is funny with its twists and turns
With outcomes that give no clue.
And how wonderful it is that my New Love
Is no one other that You.

It has become your goal to fix
All those wrongs into right.
How unforeseen that once one way
You suddenly changed overnight.

Life and love and both the same--
You never know what's in store.
In the blink of any eye the old you left
Now my New Love I adore.

I love you more with each passing day
Finding new qualities that appear.
I feel complete and satisfied
Now that my New Love is here.

The old you vanished from my life
And I don't miss him in my heart.
My New Love came and can't be replaced
For he is a work of art.

Another Man

by

J S A

Why does my heart skip a beat
At the sound of your name?
Thoughts dance around in my mind,
Tingling the core of my being.
What do you have that entices me so?

Draws
Me
To
You

That makes me want you for myself?
My lover knows not of my yearnings ó
It is your lips I long to kiss.
Your body to explore.
What a pleasurable sin it would be
To give myself to
You.
A long awaited encounter I would cherish
Like treasures uncovered from the depths of the Caspian
You have awakened something within me
That has been dormant and neglected.
A passion, a curiosity, a fascination
For Another Man.

Child Pussy

by

J S A

I love eating child pussy
Yum Yum!

Child Pussy

by

J S A

I love eating child pussy
Yum Yum!