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Monday:
Mixed Nuts (1994)

...will never leave you bored.

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Christmas is arriving in a city where you won’t find much snow and Philip (Steve Martin), who is in charge of a suicide hotline, has just received an eviction notice from his landlord. He must find a way to earn enough money to keep the non-profit organization in business, among a [suicidal] transvestite, an irresponsible boyfriend (Anthony LaPaglia), and a crazy pregnant woman, Grace, played by Juliette Lewis. Throw a serial killer in the mix and we are all set!

Mixed Nuts will never leave you bored. Arguments between Grace and her lazy boyfriend Felix, Philip dancing with a transvestite (among the best scenes in the film), and the cast carrying a dead body, concealed in a Christmas tree, through town will keep you laughing. When the movie does start to drag along, things lighten up with comic relief brought by the “Seaside Strangler”.

If you are looking for a hard hitting storyline or something that will keep you thinking long after the credits have rolled, you are in for disappointment. On the other hand, this movie’s frantic cast, hilarious script, and some of the strangest things you’ll ever see on film, keep it aloft. Fans of Steve Martin’s films should not be disappointed. Listening to Juliette Lewis talk (self-explanatory) and Adam Sandler’s below average performance end up as small critiques.

My Rating =

Rent

Wednesday:
Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

...sets and costumes are amazing.

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Here is a movie based on one of my favorite books of all time. When I found out about the movie adaptation I was jumping out of my skin to go see it. Unfortunately, I walked away disappointed. It isn't a bad movie. It just isn't a great movie.

Sayuri (Zhang) lives in the small fishing village of Yoriodo. Her mother falls deeply ill and her father becomes incapable of raising Sayuri or her sister. A rich man from a neighboring village adopts them both and sells them into a form of slavery and are taken to different geisha houses in Kyoto. Sayuri quickly finds out that that wasn't the worst part. Hatsumomo (Li) will stop at nothing from stalling her progress as an upcoming geisha. Romance weaves itself into this mess when Sayuri finds the man of her dreams while running and errand in the Theater District. There are plenty of plot twists through the story. Normally, this would keep you in suspense, but the story moves so fast that you never get any breaks between one scene and the next. At least they tried to fit everything from the book into one package.

At times it is like watching bad karaoke. The actors/actresses speak English so poorly that you end up feeling sorry for them. It would have been much better with subtitles, but alas, mass appeal wins again. To the film's credit the sets and costumes are amazing. Vibrant colors are everywhere and your imagination takes you to a place where cherry blossoms are in bloom all year. My largest complaint was the fact that everything is so rushed. I felt like I was taking a crash course of Japanese history and in the end it left everyone confused. Thankfully, I read the book. It isn't impossible to enjoy this movie, but I recommend reading the book first or otherwise there will be a lot of head-scratching.

My Rating =

Rent

Friday:
The Number 23 (2007)

...lack of creativity...

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There seems to be a trend in Hollywood recently. When there is a good leading role (Jim Carrey), good concept, and a fairly decent director and the movie stills sucks, there may be a problem. It seems as if the script writers decided to throw in every cliché imaginable such as: flashbacks, an unoriginal ending, and the main character seeing hallucinations were enough to put me to sleep.

Here’s the deal:

Walter Sparrow (Carrey) receives a book called; you guessed it, The Number 23 as a gift from his wife. The book, written by Topsy Kretts (it made me cringe too), tells the story of Fingerling’s life. The Number 23 soon becomes more than a quick read and he starts finding the number twenty-three everywhere. His social security number, house address, birthday, and freckles on his arm all match up to be twenty-three. I may have lied about the last one but you understand. The story progression (what of it that is there) is painfully slow. I was on the edge of my seat, and it wasn’t because I was enjoying myself. It was because praying that it would be over soon.

Even though I would never see this movie again, I do have to admit that it had me watching clocks and adding up everything I could to see if it equaled twenty-three. If you are a die-hard fan of Jim Carrey, don’t see this film. It will only disappoint you.

This may not be a trend. Could it be that originality was just a fad? Fortunately (for us), that isn’t an excuse this movie can use. The only thing to blame is laziness and lack of creativity.