The Web Poetry Corner is a Dream Machine Site The Dream Machine --- The Imagination of the World Wide Web

I've been on a journey--
though I didn't know it.
I thought I still had my feet
planted firmly in one place.
My mind deceived me
or
my feet began the journey
on their own
without my consent or knowledge.

You knew--you both knew.
You saw--you both saw.
But I
was in a haze
unhearing, unseeing, unfeeling.
I had trapped myself
in a cold twisted cage.
What I saw was not the truth.
What I felt was not reality.
My control was a myth.

The only feeling I could feel
was fear.

I didn't even feel the pain--
I ignored it with all my strength
until I was so tired and worn out.
So cold and utterly
lonely
in my secret cage that
everyone saw but me.

My faith told my mind
I felt power and control
but I felt nothing.
I felt no love--
though it was there.
I felt no support--
though it awaited my acceptance.

I finally felt
afraid.
Felt afraid of where I
was headed.
It has taken every ounce
of my will
to turn around.

The strength and effort
which used to go towards
the twisted obsession--
I use it to convince myself
that I now have the power
to overcome.
I have strength to make the journey home.

Above all, I deserve
to heal,
to find
who I am,
to feel
warmth,
love,
worth.

For so long,
I punished myself,
locked myself up.
I've found the key
and I will use it.

Mama, Daddy,
I'm on my way home.

My journey has made me tired.
I cannot be who I was before.
She's changed.
I can
be the best I am able to be
but I cannot do it
for you.
I must be me
for me.

I'm worth
my own love.

To visit all of Tina Bursch's poems, click HERE

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