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The Web Poetry Corner - Philip Claude Andermann - Sorry, I Am Different

Sorry, I Am Different

by

Philip Claude Andermann


a few thoughts on having Asperger's Disorder:

I don't know why I so inappropriately feel
I AM Imagination:
I dream too much.

I am dangerous in many ways.
Imagining,
I feel like the future looking backward to now
bestowing new inventions.
I look "farward" and see the future.
I thus try to look both ways.
But still it is sometimes dangerous
just for me just to cross the street.

So often I am not part of the traffic.
I often feel so different:
therefore I feel so much
for all those who are different,
I seem to see them through [their trapping] walls.
I would seek solutions for all those
who are not currently part of the traffic...

Perhaps so ridiculously,
I would yet dream
of leading the traffic
into a different direction....
Perhaps it is enough to just be a stoplight
to prevent accidents?...

No!
I personally cannot be an auto-maton,
and still I dream of more.
I know sometimes wed move faster in the traffic
if we just all got out and walked;
..surely I can invent something far more intelligent than,
and fundamentally different from,
the auto-mobile -
or ANY current vehicle!

Way beyond Facebook et al,
I would invent a new medium
catalyst for advancing
quite different open source solutions
to world problems:
a new means for them
to use "karma" as mission,
serendipity for humanity's fulfillment.

For I am a computer programmer
who "most inappropriately"
would develop a new network syergizing auto-didactism
beyond conventional open source,
beyond an ebay of ideas,
network that cellularly reprograms itself
for positive miscreants like myself:

to synergistically teach themselves
the means of self-empowerment
without dependence
on unequally available formal education,

to catalytically link
the richest and the poorest
in solving problems,
in dissolving our divisions,

to as in biomimicry
ingeniously ecologically
deploy resources far more efficiently -
than individuals without my enhancement
could ever have envisioned.

Like the nanotechnology I also embrace,
I would re-invent life
[starting with my life].

In that direction, I must first experience
being part of that traffic;
I must start with using the rear view mirror
to look within:
I shall walk the talk.

Though imagination moves too fast,
I shall hook it to reality slowing
to move that reality forward.

I must remember I am Aspergian.
Remember that the automobile was invented by teams.
Similarly I must first re-invent myself
amid the traffic teem
of diversity.

At first imagination still flies
too much beyond real invention:
I both surf the space and spume
beyond our little rock,
and also find a reflective jewel
in every little rock around;
Then I look beyond the walled windows
of our cars into seeking eyes;
turning their warning beeps [social cues]
into the most exquisite symphony:
despite my condition always learning -

determined through serendipity
of new conventions and true invention to transform
my/our mundane self-destructive reality
into dialogue of mutual understanding,
that my difference shall be key
to offering a different harmonious key.

Anyway
in MY way,
whatever my clay,
through my case
showing the way
to ever-flexible determined
forward serendipity.


To visit all of Philip Claude Andermann's poems, click HERE


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