The Web Poetry Corner - Philip Claude Andermann - Sorry, I Am Different
Sorry, I Am Different
Philip Claude Andermann
a few thoughts on having Asperger's Disorder:
I don't know why I so inappropriately feel
I AM Imagination:
I dream too much.
I am dangerous in many ways.
I feel like the future looking backward to now
bestowing new inventions.
I look "farward" and see the future.
I thus try to look both ways.
But still it is sometimes dangerous
just for me just to cross the street.
So often I am not part of the traffic.
I often feel so different:
therefore I feel so much
for all those who are different,
I seem to see them through [their trapping] walls.
I would seek solutions for all those
who are not currently part of the traffic...
Perhaps so ridiculously,
I would yet dream
of leading the traffic
into a different direction....
Perhaps it is enough to just be a stoplight
to prevent accidents?...
I personally cannot be an auto-maton,
and still I dream of more.
I know sometimes we’d move faster in the traffic
if we just all got out and walked;
..surely I can invent something far more intelligent than,
and fundamentally different from,
the auto-mobile -
or ANY current vehicle!
Way beyond Facebook et al,
I would invent a new medium
catalyst for advancing
quite different open source solutions
to world problems:
a new means for them
to use "karma" as mission,
serendipity for humanity's fulfillment.
For I am a computer programmer
who "most inappropriately"
would develop a new network syergizing auto-didactism
beyond conventional open source,
beyond an ebay of ideas,
network that cellularly reprograms itself
for positive miscreants like myself:
to synergistically teach themselves
the means of self-empowerment
on unequally available formal education,
to catalytically link
the richest and the poorest
in solving problems,
in dissolving our divisions,
to as in biomimicry
deploy resources far more efficiently -
than individuals without my enhancement
could ever have envisioned.
Like the nanotechnology I also embrace,
I would re-invent life
[starting with my life].
In that direction, I must first experience
being part of that traffic;
I must start with using the rear view mirror
to look within:
I shall walk the talk.
Though imagination moves too fast,
I shall hook it to reality slowing
to move that reality forward.
I must remember I am Aspergian.
Remember that the automobile was invented by teams.
Similarly I must first re-invent myself
amid the traffic teem
At first imagination still flies
too much beyond real invention:
I both surf the space and spume
beyond our little rock,
and also find a reflective jewel
in every little rock around;
Then I look beyond the walled windows
of our cars into seeking eyes;
turning their warning beeps [social cues]
into the most exquisite symphony:
despite my condition always learning -
determined through serendipity
of new conventions and true invention to transform
my/our mundane self-destructive reality
into dialogue of mutual understanding,
that my difference shall be key
to offering a different harmonious key.
in MY way,
whatever my clay,
through my case
showing the way
to ever-flexible determined
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