How many more hours can I endure the side effects
that the drugs create in my body
not being able to walk far, the nausea, lack of sleep
is such a humbling experience,
never having gone through this before
means trial by error or trial by experience,
one hour at a time, patiently
where do I find the power, the ferociousness, courage
to accept all of this, and to start it all over again the next day
when will it ever end and what am I to learn from this
I squeeze the lovely, clear moments
they often surprise me, come from nowhere
it is so difficult fighting this disease.