free verse:rape

by

Katherine Tildes

there is so much inside
hidden
rarely let out

the rape
the anger
the hate
the fear of men
the fact that he denied that he did anything
the months and months it took for me to be able to have sex w/someone, even w/the man i loved
the hesitation every time i have sex w/someone for the 1st time...the hesitation at opening up inside

and letting someone take a part of that
i stil cry to this day
ive been crying for hours now

i still want someone to love me
i want to forget
i want to drink it away or smoke it away, dull it down a bit
i need romance, true love..that spark to flame up into something big
i need to rest in someones arms right now, have them hold me tight b/c all i can do is hurt and remember and cry
i need someone to make it all better right now, ease the pain

but anyone I could ask for isnt here
the two people I want arent here or anywhere near

I want to destroy these memories
I want to lock them away forever
but I revisit them,

a little too often for comfort
i just want this pain and guilt to go away

NEXT?
Why don't you look at Blessed
by: Alfy Andrews
from: Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India

To visit all of Katherine Tildes's poems, click HERE

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