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The Web Poetry Corner - James Bredin - Chretien Never Lies

Chretien Never Lies


James Bredin

I was elected prime minister of Canada for life,
By all the people in all the provinces without strife,
I never lied about Shawinigan or the GST,
My Mounties and my appointed ethics guy have all agreed,
I never lied when I said I might or would retire,
But I知 too young right now so I値l just have to enquire,
Because Canadians need me and there are no others,
I値l talk to my friends, you know, my fellow Liberal brothers.

The Charter that I wrote is proof that I can stay forever,
No term limits mentioned there which I consider clever,
No referendums mentioned either so I値l make any change,
Don稚 want those Westerners coming up with something strange,
The Charter does not allow terrorists in from just anywhere,
Although it does say "everyone" but we try to take care,
And property rights may not be mentioned but not to bother,
I wrote it all and I can stay 祖ause I知 a Founding Father.

The national debt did not double since I was elected,
And the people I appoint are always highly respected,
Bilingual Canadians are better than those other types,
-- Probably rednecks and racist or Alliance and the likes,
And that missing billion dollars which got lost somewhere somehow,
It痴 only a billion, -- no problem - everyone going, "wow!,"
And that Kyoto Agreement is the best thing since sliced bread,
Alberta may not like it but they have to respect the Fed.

And those police investigations are under the table,
And those government contract stories - all just a fable,
I知 going to allow a free vote in Parliament some day,
When they deserve it and I知 old and going a little gray,
I知 going to do something about the value of the dollar,
But why should I; it dropped by half and no one even hollered?
Someday too I might even use the "notwithstanding clause"
I値l be a hero then, you値l see, dressed up like Santa Clause.

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