Got home from the burger bar late on Lady Day
In the telly corner a spewed-out videotape lay
On the eighth day machine went up the creek
The broken bells ring down the curtain
Yield day to night, black, brass and bleak
For now the game's gone for a burton
Hey DJ, play me a night of fed-up songs
Talk of buying comedy tapes or a box of chocs
Can't turn up a ruby in this myriad of rocks
And I wish I was eating burnt black toast
Or travelling National Express to the Dorset coast
Face up to the truth, Mrs Jenny Wren
The Celebrations aren't coming back again
Hey DJ, play me 'If I had a 14lb lump hammer'
Bye bye Ms Millennium Dome
Drove my Cherry to the ferry but nobody was home
Moping around like a garden gnome
Singing 'This ol' road'll never reach Rome'