the real me

by

Alison Carrie

too long have the memories haunted me
wanting to forget but constantly reminded
curling up so tight and never getting relief
the pain is just too much to bear.
once the feeling of safety cleared my mind
but now mistrust and paranoia plague me
of how you took what i never wanted to give
and all the tears i shed.
no matter how much of my past i revealed to you
all the scars will forever remain
and all the horrible decisions i have made
that not only hurt those i love but also myself.
the drugs and drinking my life long addictions
the depression that will never heal
the promiscuity i have faced is overwhelming
and all the nightmares where i can never hide.
no matter how many times i told you i cared
to the lies you made me believe
i wanted you to become something you never were
so i turned a blind eye to all the abuse.
all the drinks i indulged in never could forget
the bruises i suffered from that fateful day
you changed my life in such a way
never will i ever be the same.
my faith in Him i will never regain
for the blame i placed for my pain
all the desperate prayers i cried
no results did i ever recieve.
you refused to talk with me
and convinced the world i was lying
only those who knew my true heart
could sense what was deep inside.
please help me forgive you
for all the things you have done
having the most profound effect on my life
and never knowing just how much you killed the real me.

NEXT?
Why don't you look at The Exceptions of Can't
by: David Russell DeSoto
from: Columbia, SC, US

To visit all of Alison Carrie's poems, click HERE

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