A Play of Nations and Cancelations

by

Adam Gosha

Kingtype: "Here we are all gathered in the; almighty court of,

uh, the, um, great mountain king. Um hmm,

let us proceed!"
Little Joseph: Singing, "Jason comes jumping with his knickers

torn down!"
Kingtype: "And before we begin I must first say that in

all of the out-comings of the day (and year

for any of that matter) we've taken

quite an irrelevant sum of gifts to the yet

unborn son of peasant Lily!"
Fat Luke: "I'd have to agree whole heartedly!" he splutters

as he tumbles back to drunken sleep.
Kingtype: "Prudence, is you a witness, excuse me,

are you ever a member, all right who

stole the remote control?"
Lackey I: "Shhh! Shut up! Remember this is the 16th

century only man!."
Kingtype: "Sorry Atlantic Ocean, let me re-evaluate the

conditions of the agreement within this here

box."
Lackey II: "But Sir!" (Think C3P-O here...yes, please, read

again [I'll even help!])

"But Sir! With what meager brain capacity you

could very well fall over plum dead!"
Kingtype: "Sugar! You are once again correct dear

lackey. I hold here on this eclectic chair,

yes very colourful.

Now as I was saying, I heard this

peasant speaking of the earl of sandwich

and his invention of the sandwich."
Lackey II: "Yes, please continue..."
Kingtype: "Did you not hear the witty bakery?"
Lackey II: "Aaug...no sorry I was occupied with

my Advanced Chinese Calculus."
Kingtype: "I don't understand you Cap'n Camel, I

wonder sometimes if shall you be put to

untimely death."
Lackey II: "Be if it may, Lord, I hold the key."
Kingtype: "The key! I've not seen the key in

many a moon nor winter. May I offer

you a bride for the key?"
Lackey II: "The Princess?!"
Kingtype: "Dear, dear me. Spell check never

catches my damned misshapen B's."
Lackey I: "Lord..."
Kingtype: "Sorry, yes! I meant bribe!"
Lackey II: "Well, what should be this bribe?"
Kingtype: "I offer my fair daughter, the Princess!"
Lackey II: "Lord, your daughter is none more than

but a stone carving. How say you

this key for a crumbled mass of stone?"
Kingtype: "Agreed!"
Lackey II: "Yeay! Much rejoicing throughout the land,

but wait! You imbecile! How could you

have fallen under the King's power? You've

lost the key!"
Kingtype: "Alas, I now hold the key of D! I may at finally

finish my symphony! Hand me my paint

brush. I shall call it the 'Mona Lucy'."
Lucy: "I can not speak...I am stone."
Narrator: "And so ends the war of 1812, we find our

heroes approaching the 21st century, still

stupid as ever."

NEXT?
Why don't you look at .41 Soviet Assassin
by: Neil Heron
from: Surrey, England, UK

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