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Teen Movie Critic - II

The Postman



The Postman
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Kevin Costner spends all too much time making movies about the desolate fate of the world. First there was Waterworld (1995), a pathetic excuse for a futuristic movie. Now there's The Postman, a three and a half-hour saga that has the year 2013 looking like 1913.

Costner rides around on a horse, and says, "I'm rich," when he manages to find some old cigarettes in a machine. Captured and forced to serve in a tyrant's army (the U.S. government has fallen apart, and there is general chaos all around), he manages to escape, and hides out in an old postal vehicle. That's where he finds the mailbag of fifteen-year old letters that never got delivered, and later, to save his life, decides to deliver them. People love getting their mail again, and soon there are many newly established postal routes. But of course his old friend the tyrant hates this, and it becomes excruciatingly apparent that this is going to turn into a war movie. It is even more excruciatingly apparent which side is going to win, and how everything is going to turn out.

This is nothing but a disguised war movie, designed to inspire feelings of patriotism and unity in its viewers. Gag me. All it in inspired me to do was walk out, which I refrained from doing only because I felt it was my duty as a movie critic to see it through. Also, my dad loved the movie, and I would have had to stand out in the hall for the last hour of the movie, waiting for him. Of course, even that would have been more engaging than the movie!

My Rating = Two Stars

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