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Teen Movie Critic - II

Almost Heroes



Almost Heroes
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Almost Heroes is, simply put, an idiotic, disgusting, and moronic piece of trash that's almost a movie.

Matthew Perry and the late Chris Farley star as early- American adventurers who aspire to overtake Lewis and Clark on their journey westward. Leslie Edwards (Perry) is a conceited sissy whom Bartholomew Hunt (Farley) constantly teases and annoys. And their makeshift crew is even more pathetic!

In one headache-inducing scene, Edwards attempts to teach Hunt to read. He shows Hunt the capital and lower-case letter "a", at which point Hunt screams, "No more today! I can't take anymore! Can't you see my head is full!" At that point I couldn't take any more either, but forced myself to stay.

In an even more retarded scene, a Frenchman crew- member bites off another man's ear in a redundantly Mike Tyson display of idiocy.

I consider this all to be the lowest form of crude humor around, and the worst way to get a laugh. Come to think of it, I didn't laugh, and I didn't hear too many other people yucking it up either.

My Rating = One Star

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