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• The drug company manufacturing it has been careful to point out that it is NOT an aphrodisiac...that is, it will not produce sexual desire if none exists.

• The afflicted male must take the drug one and a half to two hours before attempting intercourse (or whatever)...somewhat a damper on spontaneity, I would say.

• It costs ten dollars a dose...or more.

• At least six men have died from side effects of the drug.

• Bob Dole was one of the test subjects.

• Jay Leno makes jokes about it almost every night.

These truths, more than anything else, kept the fires burning hotly to the present day. As it became more difficult for me to maintain a hard-on for extended periods of time, I relied more on foreplay and non-penetration activity to get us both to the point where orgasmic coupling...more or less in unison...was possible without my dick getting soft halfway home. I don't mean to imply that I did this all myself. This was by no means true. It required a great deal of cooperation...engendered by open and frank discussions of what was going on physically with our bodies...to come to this mutually satisfying state of affairs. Perhaps having matured a bit beyond the swagger and bluster of testosterone induced youthful madness helped me to get over the embarrassment of admitting that I didn't always know what the fuck I was doing. Still, without the active assistance of my beloved wife, I probably would still be pretending that I was the hottest lover on the block (rather than BEING the hottest!).

As time went on, however, age overcame desire and it became increasingly difficult for me to get it up and keep it up, even during carefully timed and extended intervals of love making. As this got progressively worse, I began to get frustrated. My hands and mouth and brain still worked fine, by my dick simply wouldn't cooperate!

Then I discovered...the RUBBER BAND! Having heard of...but never seen...a device known as a cock-ring, I assumed (correctly) that it was little more than a fitted elastic band which, when placed around the base of the penis, helps keep the blood which maintains an erection from leaking out too fast. After all, there is a sphincter muscle in the penis which is supposed to do the same thing. Unfortunately, this muscle gets a little worn out and defective with age. This is the proximate cause of impotence and...guess what?...a rubber band, wrapped twice around the base of my cock, gave just enough assistance so that I could maintain an erection as long as I needed to.

Now, like viagra, this device is NOT an aphrodisiac, but consider:

• The rubber band can be put on JUST when you want and need it. No hour and a half waiting period, no worry about a drug "wearing off" before you get a chance to use it.

• It costs less than a nickel and can be used repeatedly. In fact, since newspapers are delivered these days with a small rubber band around them, if you are a newspaper reader you can get all you need for free!

• No man has EVER died from a rubber band wrapped around his dick!

• Bob Dole wouldn't put a rubber band around his penis if his life depended upon it!

Also, as I have grown older (I am 62 at present), I find that I need two, or even occasionally three, rubber bands to do the trick. So, maybe a dime's worth (but, I AM a newspaper reader!).

Also, Jay Leno might make jokes about YOU if he finds out you use a rubber band instead of viagra!

But, here's a dirty secret. As I presume many men have discovered about viagra (or any other drug or device that enhances sexual performance), the very thought of using the sexual aid...once it has worked for you a few times...helps to get one aroused. It becomes a de facto aphrodisiacs by conditioned response. Heck, when I see a newspaper wrapped with rubber band these days, I get a secret flash of desire.

So men, cast off your dependence on dangerous and costly drugs. Let Donald Trump and Bob Dole eat those little pills. Nobody need know but you and your partner. If she (or he) laughs at you the first few times...it does look a little funny at first...they'll get over it when you perform like you used to or, even better, like you never were able to before. Then, they too will get that little thrill from the rubber-banded newspaper.

Talk to you later...

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