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All Previous Columns

In Reverse Chronological Order

Speaking Truth to Power --- October 8, 2007
We Surrender! --- September 10, 2007
SICKO --- July 6, 2007
Denial --- February 1, 2007
Barack who? Rhymes with... --- December 18, 2006
Harpo, spelled backward, is Oprah --- September 11, 2006
Oprah and WW III --- August 28, 2006
Saving the World --- March 15, 2006
If Not World War, What? --- February 26, 2006
World War III --- February 19, 2006
Is Oprah Qualified to be President? --- December 5, 2005
Oprah for President - 2008 --- November 28, 2005
We're Not Afraid --- August 5, 2005
A Book Review --- April 25, 2005
A People's History of the United States --- March 14, 2005
Supermajority --- March 7, 2005
A Constitution - Part 2 --- February 28, 2005
The Open Conspiracy - The Time Has Arrived --- February 21, 2005
Separation of Powers --- February 14, 2005
A Constitution --- February 7, 2005
Direct Democracy --- January 31, 2005
Revolution --- January 24, 2005
Steal This Column --- September 18, 2004
DON'T VOTE! --- August 6, 2004
Monsters --- June 17, 2004
The Open Conspiracy Revisited --- January 5, 2004
My Country, Tis of Thee - The General Interest --- September 15, 2003
Explanations --- September 8, 2003
Thinking Out-of-the-Box --- May 23, 2003
We hope we're wrong! --- March 24, 2003
Support our troops...say no to war in Iraq! --- March 16, 2003
Becoming the Bad Guys... --- February 24, 2003
The Self Fulfilling Prophecy --- February 10, 2003
The Language of Power --- January 27, 2003
Empire --- January 13, 2003
Talking out of Both Sides of Your Mouth --- January 6, 2003
The New Heroes --- November 18, 2002
Saddam Hussein, Savior of the World? --- November 11, 2002
Reason(s) --- November 4, 2002
World War III? --- October 14, 2002
Perverts --- October 7, 2002
Another Modest Proposal --- September 19, 2002
Between Iraq and a Hard Place - Part Two --- September 2, 2002
In Whose Honor? --- July 29, 2002
Scalia, Church and State --- July 22, 2002
We have met the enemy... --- July 15, 2002
Jesse, we're gonna miss ya! --- July 8, 2002
Democracy at Work --- July 1, 2002
Secrecy - Part II --- June 24, 2002
Secrecy - Part I --- June 17, 2002
Drugs: The problem? --- June 10, 2002
Democracy --- June 3, 2002
Conspiracy Theories...or...It's the OIL Stupid! --- May 27, 2002
How stupid do they think we are? --- May 20, 2002
Peace --- May 13, 2002
Congress Outlaws Masturbation! --- May 6, 2002
A Naive Idea --- April 29, 2002
Wouldn't you rather... --- April 22, 2002
Terrorist Spin --- April 15, 2002
The questions no one will ask. --- April 8, 2002
Is Tiger Woods Black? --- April 1, 2002
The Secular Solution --- March 25, 2002
The Insanity Defense --- March 18, 2002
Making Hay While the Sun Shines --- March 11, 2002
Doctors cause cancer! --- March 4, 2002
SNAFU --- February 25, 2002
Extremism... --- February 18, 2002
More Reefer Madness --- February 11, 2002
The State of the Union --- February 4, 2002
The Games People Play --- January 28, 2002
How Many Virgins? --- January 14, 2002
The Hundred Years' War --- January 14, 2002
Secrecy --- January 7, 2001
Power to the People --- December 31, 2001
Mary Ruwart --- December 24, 2001
Unity or Community? --- December 17, 2001
Democracy --- December 10, 2001
Hoax revealed! --- December 3, 2001
Principles, schminciples! --- November 26, 2001
The Surveillance Society --- November 19, 2001
Learn from the British --- November 12, 2001
My country, right or wrong... --- November 5, 2001
Dumb and Dumber --- October 29, 2001
That was then, this is now. --- October 22, 2001
Loose lips... --- October 15, 2001
How can you laugh? Try this... --- October 8, 2001
So far, still good! --- October 1, 2001
So far, so good! --- September 24, 2001
Jaw, jaw, jaw is better than war, war, war... --- September 17, 2001
Empire --- September 10, 2001
Tangled Webs Revisited --- September 3, 2001
Back to the future... --- August 27, 2001
Punch and Judy --- August 20, 2001
How many angels can sit... --- August 13, 2001
Oh, what a tangled web we weave... --- August 6, 2001
The Medicalization of America --- July 30, 2001
Please get your nose out of my butt-crack! --- July 23, 2001
Chinese food...for thought. --- July 16, 2001
Community --- July 9, 2001
Sex, Cell Phones and Seat Belts --- July 2, 2001
Get Busy! --- June 25, 2001
Control by Surveillance --- June 18, 2001
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun --- June 11, 2001
Education? --- June 4, 2001
Don't scare the horses. --- May 28, 2001
Guns, guns, guns... --- May 21, 2001
Hungry? Eat the rich. --- May 14, 2001
Kinder, Gentler Bigotry? --- May 7, 2001
All you need is war... --- April 30, 2001
Minnesota... --- April 23, 2001
Cyber Squatting --- April 16, 2001
Hey, hey, what can the matter be? --- April 9, 2001
See 3 --- April 2, 2001
We got the whole world... --- March 19, 2001
CEBBTOs, CEBBTOs Everywhere! --- March 12, 2001
The Asshole Theory of History --- March 5, 2001
Do you know Tiger Woods? --- February 28, 2001
Making Lemonade --- February 26, 2001
Between Iraq and a Hard Place --- February 19, 2001
Higher Hypocrisy --- February 12, 2001
Reality Programming --- February 5, 2001
The Four Great Awakenings --- January 29, 2001
The Administrative-Legislative Branch --- January 22, 2001
Think Outside the Box --- January 15, 2001
Use the Internet! --- January 8, 2001
A Mother's Plea --- January 1, 2001
Freedom --- December 25, 2000
An Open Letter to the Libertarian Party --- December 22, 2000
An Open Letter to Nader, Ventura, Buchana and Browne --- December 21, 2000
An Open Letter to Jesse Jackson --- December 20, 2000
An Open Letter to George W. Bush --- December 19, 2000
The Open Conspiracy --- December 18, 2000
The Rules of Democracy --- December 11, 2000
Don't pay any attention to the man behind the curtain! --- December 4, 2000
The Election from Hell! --- Part ??? --- November 27, 2000
The Election from Hell! --- Part Deux --- November 20, 2000
The Election from Hell! --- November 13, 2000
Vote for Nader --- November 6, 2000
A vote for Gore is a vote for Bush! --- October 30, 2000
Religion...you've seen one, you've seen 'em all! --- October 23, 2000
Multiculturalism...a REALLY bad idea! --- October 16, 2000
An Open Letter to Jonah Goldberg --- October 9, 2000
DON'T VOTE! (for president) --- October 2, 2000
Take a Walk on the Wild Side --- September 25, 2000
Location, location, location - NOT! --- September 18, 2000
Caveat Emptor! --- September 11, 2000
An Unholy Alliance --- September 4, 2000
Cherish the Protesters --- August 28, 2000
The Re-Writing of History --- August 21, 2000
What are we going to do with the warriors? --- August 14, 2000
Don't waste your VOTE! --- August 7, 2000
Metallica, eat our shorts! --- July 31, 2000
Yes or no? --- July 24, 2000
A Freedom Amendment --- July 17, 2000
Resistance is Futile! --- July 2, 2000
Balderdash! --- June 19, 2000
A Final Solution: How Soon? --- June 5, 2000
I get NO respect! --- May 29, 2000
Let's make a deal. --- May 22, 2000
Good Old American Know-How to the Rescue! --- May 15, 2000
The Politics of Bullshit --- May 8, 2000
Make the sumbitch deny it! --- May 1, 2000
We're STILL at it... --- March 27, 2000
If men didn't have dicks, who'd talk to them? --- March 20, 2000
New Old-Sayings --- March 13, 2000
The Web is One Big Site... --- March 6, 2000
It takes a village. --- February 28, 2000
The three ring circus... --- February 21, 2000
Mitnick Madness --- February 14, 2000
Groundhog's Day! --- February 7, 2000
Save the children? --- January 31, 2000
Seig Heil! --- January 24, 2000
Be careful what you wish for... --- January 17, 2000
A dream is a wish made by your heart... --- December 27, 1999
Freedom of Speech --- December 20, 1999
The Ghost of Christmas Past - II --- December 13, 1999
Bold Strokes --- December 6, 1999
The truth? You can't handle the truth! --- November 29, 1999
Bullshit is REAL! --- November 22, 1999
The Ghost of Christmas Past --- November 15, 1999
Words, words, words... --- November 8, 1999
Go, Dog, Go! --- November 1, 1999
Chaos, Freedom and Control --- October 25, 1999
But, but...Oprah is a WOMAN! --- October 18, 1999
Nurture the alternatives. --- October 11, 1999
No more ICHMIWA defense! --- October 4, 1999
Oprah for President? --- September 27, 1999
The Rainbow Connection --- September 20, 1999
The End is Near? --- September 11, 1999
Spam this column! --- September 6, 1999
Is it the sex or the money? --- August 30, 1999
The Roll Your Own Society --- August 23, 1999
William Gates for President --- August 16, 1999
The Internet is International --- August 9, 1999
Governor Jesse Ventura, we love ya! --- August 2, 1999
The Thought Gestapo Is At It Again! --- July 29, 1999
A Judgement Call --- July 26, 1999
Communitarianism --- July 19, 1999
The mind of a censor... --- July 12, 1999
Cowboys and Indians --- July 5, 1999
Power corrupts... --- June 28, 1999
Millennial Madness --- June 21, 1999
Sticks and stones... --- June 14, 1999
Free? Well, almost... --- June 7, 1999
Flopping on the beach... --- May 31, 1999
Women. You can't live without them... --- May 24, 1999
The Blame Game --- May 17, 1999
Moving to the front of the parade. --- May 10, 1999
A good place to die... --- May 3, 1999
Kill the parents, beat the kids... --- April 26, 1999
Propaganda III - or - Ain't War Fun? --- April 19, 1999
Propaganda - II --- April 12, 1999
Propaganda --- April 5, 1999
Mo' Money --- March 29, 1999
National Insecurity --- March 22, 1999
What's the deal, Ally McBeal? --- March 15, 1999
Making Lemonade --- March 8, 1999
Thin Skin or Thick Skull? --- March 1, 1999
Countdown to the Millennium --- February 22, 1999
The Year of the Woman? --- February 15, 1999
Drug Reform Coordination Network (DRCNet) --- February 8, 1999
Consciences? We don't need no stinking consciences! --- February 1, 1999
The Half Vast Right Wing Conspiracy --- January 25, 1999
Got her back...thanks to YOU! --- January 18, 1999
Dignity --- January 11, 1999
Golly Geewillikers, it IS Minnesota! --- January 4, 1999
Lawyers, Liars and Legislators --- December 14, 1998
Libertarians at the center? --- December 7, 1998
Truth, Justice and the American Way --- November 30, 1998
Political organizing on the Net --- November 23, 1998
Exciting stuff! Well, not all of it... --- November 16, 1998
What next? --- November 9, 1998
State Secrets --- November 2, 1998
Spam --- October 26, 1998
The collapse of statist liberalism --- October 19, 1998
Co-Authors --- October 13, 1998
Secrets and Lies --- October 12, 1998
The New Psychiatry --- October 5, 1998
A Modest Proposal --- September 29, 1998
Inquiring minds want to know... --- September 28, 1998
Terrorism --- September 21, 1998
A leap of faith. --- September 14, 1998
A yokel speaks up... --- September 13, 1998
Thanks, Kenny! --- September 12, 1998
How CAN You Laugh at a Time Like This? --- September 7, 1998
The modern inquisition --- August 31, 1998
I want my wife back! --- August 27, 1998
Keep the faith --- August 24, 1998
Privacy --- August 18, 1998
Control --- August 17, 1998
Freedom's just another word... --- August 10, 1998
The CEBBTOs are at it again! --- August 3, 1998
You may be a libertarian... --- July 27, 1998
I'm white, but can I prove it? --- July 20, 1998
Compromise --- July 13, 1998
Ten Thousand Matt Drudges! --- July 6, 1998
Dennis Rodman - visiting alien or libertarian? --- June 28, 1998
Wishful thinking --- June 22, 1998
The Robin Hood Plan --- June 15, 1998
The poor man's viagra. --- June 11, 1998
Sin to the rescue! --- June 8, 1998
The trouble with principles. --- June 1, 1998
A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of Communism. --- May 25, 1998
Seinfeld's gone! Good riddance! --- May 18, 1998
Secret police --- May 11, 1998
Watching the watchers. --- April 27, 1998
The medium IS the message! --- April 20, 1998
Oh my God! They killed Kenny! --- April 13, 1998
Willy throws in the towel... --- April 7, 1998
It's OK to do it...once! --- April 6, 1998
Beating on tom-toms - III --- April 5, 1998
What goes around comes around... --- April 4, 1998
Shit happens, even in sports. --- April 3, 1998
Confusing liberals with libertarians. --- April 2, 1998
Adultophilia --- April 1, 1998
Life is like a box of chocolates --- March 31, 1998
You can't shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater. --- March 30, 1998
Stranger in a strange land... --- March 29, 1998
You're always outnumbered, you're always outgunned... --- March 28, 1998
It takes a REAL village! --- March 27, 1998
The agent "strike" of '56 --- March 26, 1998
The Hall of Flame --- March 25, 1998
Pussywhipped...and PROUD of it! --- March 24, 1998
Gender politics --- March 23, 1998
Out to pasture... --- March 22, 1998
Not so Simple City --- March 21, 1998
Want to own your very own Renaissance man? - II --- March 20, 1998
Peter Douglas Paap --- March 19, 1998
The Leadership Blues --- March 18, 1998
Bigamy - I --- March 17, 1998
Paranoia and the Internet --- March 16, 1998
Great leader or war criminal? --- March 15, 1998
Willy's fabulous chili! --- March 14, 1998
Masturbate...responsibly --- March 13, 1998
How to be an asshole: Lesson #1 --- March 12, 1998
Punishing the victims! - II --- March 11, 1998
Putting the shot --- March 10, 1998
Take a pill, Bill! --- March 9, 1998
Health and fitness... --- March 8, 1998
Want to own your very own Renaissance man? --- March 7, 1998
Punishing the victims! --- March 6, 1998
Planetary nervous system --- March 5, 1998
You ain't so fucking big! --- March 4, 1998
Who was/is Bruce Madison? --- March 3, 1998
For the sake of posterity... --- March 2, 1998
The road ahead --- March 2, 1998
The first day in the rest of my life... --- March 1, 1998
Bill and Al's Excellent Adventure --- February 23, 1998
Long live The Nation! --- February 16, 1998
An Open Letter to The Nation --- February 9, 1998
The BIG Lie --- February 2, 1998
Honestly! --- January 26, 1998
Learn from China --- January 19, 1998
Ah, I'm still free! --- January 12, 1998
May you live in interesting times. --- January 5, 1998
Join the Netwars! --- December 29, 1997
It was the night before an un-named religious holiday... --- December 22, 1997
Racism - How can I miss it if it won't go away? --- December 15, 1997
Mooning the ogre --- December 8, 1997
Just the facts, Ma'am --- December 1, 1997
The President's Private Parts: III --- November 24, 1997
USE Marijuana --- Responsibly --- November 17, 1997
Law and order? --- November 10, 1997
China --- November 3, 1997
Ants --- October 27, 1997
Arguably... --- October 20, 1997
The Cigarette Problem --- October 13, 1997
Complexity = Chaos! --- October 6, 1997
You ain't seen nothin' yet! --- September 29, 1997
Democracy, a prairie fire in the making... --- September 22, 1997
Now is the time for all good men... --- September 15, 1997
UFO's, lies and secrecy --- September 8, 1997
A snitch by any other name... --- September 1, 1997
Altruism --- August 25, 1997
It just ain't fair! --- August 4, 1997
Privacy???...we don't need no stinking privacy! --- July 28, 1997
The Year of the Dog...the Horny Dog --- July 21, 1997
Save your children...from YOU! --- July 14, 1997
We are the English --- July 7, 1997
Singing along with the Supremes --- June 30, 1997
Censorship --- June 23, 1997
You WILL die! --- June 16, 1997
The President's Private Parts: Part Deux --- June 9, 1997
Science IS --- June 2, 1997
Inertia --- May 26, 1997
World government --- May 19, 1997
Lord of the Flies --- May 12, 1997
Speaking of the news... --- May 5, 1997
Fighting the last war... --- April 28, 1997
Cyberspooks... --- April 21, 1997
Save the children! --- April 14, 1997
Who's watching whom? --- April 7, 1997
Where DO they get those ideas!? --- March 31, 1997
Guest Columnist: "Doc" Carney --- March 24, 1997
When principles collide... --- March 10, 1997
No men need apply. --- March 3, 1997
Throwing out the baby... --- February 24, 1997
Put your money where your mouth is! --- February 17, 1997
Men! You can't live with 'em and you can't kill 'em! --- February 10, 1997
The "five to eight" rule. --- February 3, 1997
Why am I not an anarchist? --- January 27, 1997
The President's Private Parts --- January 20, 1997
Oxymoron: Intelligence in the War on Drugs --- January 13, 1997
Why can't the English teach their children how to speak? --- January 6, 1997
Jeepers, creepers! What's a parent to do? --- December 30, 1996
Oh, Jerusalem! --- December 23, 1996
Everybody's got to be something! --- December 16, 1996
What will we do with the tigers? --- December 9, 1996
Family values --- December 2, 1996
Making lemonade --- November 25, 1996
It's over..we won! --- November 18, 1996
The speech Jesse Jackson should give... --- November 11, 1996
People suck...I know you are, but what am I? --- November 4, 1996
A not so gentle reminder --- October 28, 1996
Tell the truth about drugs... --- October 21, 1996
Capitalism as a pyramid racket... --- October 14, 1996
Last yeer i cudnt spel riter and now i are one! --- October 7, 1996
A bit of bad luck... --- September 30, 1996
History in the making...in the making...in the making... --- September 23, 1996
Privacy? We don't need no stinking privacy! --- September 16, 1996
Please give a poor, dumb nigger a job... --- September 9, 1996
How can I blow it? Let me count the ways... --- September 2, 1996
If you're so smart, why aren't you...? --- August 26, 1996
Oedipus Rex? --- August 19, 1996
Respect for the law --- August 12, 1996
Don't waste your vote! --- August 5, 1996
Sticks and stones and chicken bones --- July 29, 1996
From Genghis Khan to the Prom King --- July 22, 1996
CEBBTO is a pronoun. --- July 15, 1996
Conservatives (some of them) come even cleaner. --- July 8, 1996
The Death Penalty --- July 1, 1996
America, love it or leave it! --- June 24, 1996
The Tenth Commandment: Shit Happens --- June 17, 1996
Corporate greed or just plain capitalism? --- June 10, 1996
Timothy Leary, Tinkerbell and the Lost Boys --- June 3, 1996
To the President: Get a job, Hippie! --- May 27, 1996
Coming out of the closet. --- May 20, 1996
Stupid is as stupid does. --- May 13, 1996
Take my wife. Please, take my wife! --- May 5, 1996
Freedom's just another word for everything to gain. --- April 29, 1996
Making hay while the sun shines. --- April 22, 1996
Who's in charge here? --- April 15, 1996
How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm? --- April 8, 1996
Convention, History and Family --- April 1, 1996
I'm Ba-a-a-ck... --- March 25, 1996
Is it real or is it fake? --- February 12, 1996
Conservatives (some of them) come clean. --- February 5, 1996
Commandment (Suggestion) Number One. --- January 29, 1996
The Ten Commandments according to Bruce. --- January 22, 1996
The Silly Season is upon us again. --- January 15, 1996
The more things change... --- January 8, 1996
What happened in 1995 and why should we care? --- January 1, 1996
Beating on tom-toms revisited. --- December 25, 1995
Big lie didn't work? Try a bigger lie. --- December 18, 1995
"Hey, G.I., want to buy my sister?" --- December 11, 1995
The Endless Boogie --- December 4, 1995
Super Liberation on the Information Superhighway --- November 27, 1995
The REAL end of racism --- November 20, 1995
The End of Racism --- November 13, 1995
If this doesn't offend you, nothing will. --- October 23, 1995
This is NOT funny! --- October 16, 1995
Bailiff, bring the guilty Nigger in! --- October 9, 1995
Facts! We don't need no stinking facts! --- October 2, 1995
Colin Powell, superstar --- September 25, 1995
What do you call 12,000 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. --- September 18, 1995
How many beats of the tom-tom make the sun reappear after an eclipse? --- September 11, 1995
Life's a bitch and then you die. --- September 4, 1995
Why I like Bill Clinton (or is it Jimmy Carter?). --- August 28, 1995
An open letter to Wired magazine. --- August 21, 1995
Blow in my ear and I'll follow you anywhere. --- August 14, 1995
Give me a bite to eat...or I'll kill you! --- August 7, 1995
I can't hear you, I have a boob in my ear. --- July 31, 1995
Let's vote on that! --- July 24, 1995
Hide and go seek. --- July 17, 1995
Welcome back Joe, Baby! --- July 10, 1995
Practice makes perfect. --- July 3, 1995
The Libertarian Party. --- June 26, 1995
Real versus hypothetical risk. --- June 19, 1995
Affirmative reaction --- June 12, 1995
Is libertarianism a faith? --- June 5, 1995
When are you old enough to _______? --- May 29, 1995
If trees screamed, would we cut them down? We would if they screamed all the time, for no reason. --- May 22, 1995
Less government, except to keep you in line. --- May 15, 1995
When was the last time a poor person offered you a job? --- May 8, 1995
What if everybody...? --- May 1, 1995
Talk show madness. --- Apr. 24, 1995
Litmus tests. --- Apr. 17, 1995
Out of TP and Paper Towels? --- Apr. 10, 1995
Shit happens or the testosterone blues. --- Apr. 3, 1995
It's so good... --- Mar. 27, 1995
O.J. forever. --- Mar. 20, 1995
CNN --- Mar. 13, 1995
Crime and punishment. --- Mar. 6, 1995
Law and disorder. --- Feb. 27,1995
Addicted to love. --- Feb. 20, 1995
Fables and foibles. --- Feb. 13, 1995
Make a law against it? --- Feb. 6, 1995
Something is queer here. --- Jan. 30, 1995
Gun madness. --- Jan. 23, 1995
Who is YOUR drug pusher? --- Jan. 16, 1995
Is the doctor in? --- Jan. 9, 1995
Bruce looks at the 'F' word. --- Jan. 2, 1995

If you wish to find out more about the Libertarian Party, check out their Web site at http://www.lp.org/lp/ or simply click here. Tell them Willy Chaplin sent you.

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