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Of course the proximate cause of all this is the recent book by Seymour Hersh detailing what is alleged to be The Dark Side of Camelot. Unable to produce further liberal iconography, (and best selling books) like his famous book on the My Lai massacre, the author has descended instead into tabloidocracy...complete with sex, drugs and mafia thugs.

Of course, we needn't depend completely upon Hersh's notions of what is "dark" about the Kennedy's. Surely Old Joe himself, the deceased patriarch of the current Kennedy clan, provided ample ammunition for the army of historians of muck. Among other things, he was one of a very few zillionaires who profited from the Great Crash of '29. In fact, many assert that he actually CAUSED that panic when he unloaded all his holdings shortly before the fall. He clearly bought the White House for his son (or, at the very least, was one of the major "investors") John. He had actually planned the job for Joe, Jr., his eldest son and namesake, but Joe was wasted in WW II, leaving the spot open for the next elder, handsome playboy John-John the First.

Of course, we all know that Johnnie's career was cut short, some would say mercifully short, by LeeHarveyOswald/TheCIA/NewOrleansFreakazoids/Castro/TheMafia/Etc. in 1963, paving the way for Lyndon the Crude, Nixon the Noxious, Jerry and Jimmy Who?, Ronald McDonald, George Whatsiname and finally, Billy Bob the Sex God.

Of course the Kennedy tradition has been carried forward by Bobby, who fucked with the bull and got the horn, and of course Teddy, who gave up whoring in order to become the first perfectly spherical human ever to have inhabited the planet Earth. There are also the lesser gods...the third generation wastrels... but they hardly count since nobody can even remember their names.

However, now we are told that Billy Bob really wasn't the first fuckaround in the White House, nor even the most outrageous. Not only did Kennedy precede him temporally, he was arguably the true master of this historical slot...the real King of Presidential Sluts...not simply using cops to lure government employed bimbos to darkened motel rooms, but letting them frolic naked in the White House swimming pool, all the while posting secret service agents at the entrances to keep Jackie from crashing the party! My me, oh my, he makes our Arkansas amateur look like a rank pretender.

Now, pundits of various political stripes have been debating the "meaning" of all this...making it about the fifteenth story-of-the-century-of-the-month...all week. Before it is completely forgotten (next week), I thought I had better get my two cents in.

Let's first tally up what we have learned from the others. From Kennedy lickspittles and sycophants we have learned that OTHER presidents, including Dwight D. Eisenhower, Abraham Lincoln and Franklyn Delano Roosevelt to name only the most idolized of the bunch...these other presidents also engaged in errant wick-dipping while occupying the Most Powerful Position in the World. I was surprised that they didn't also mention Mao Tse Tung, since he was arguably one of the kinkiest of all when it came to extra-curicular adventures, routinely employing the ministrations of young girls in a back room of the Forbidden City as his mind dwindled away during his dotage. But, I guess only American icons were permissible in this modest debate, only White Anglo Saxon males deemed acceptable to compare with the likes of such a venerable figure as King John.

Occasionally some one would ask reasonably if anybody really gives a shit, but there was always a token Liberal basher present to suck in his/her breath and whine that "What has happened to family values?" It was also frequently used as an occasion to note that both Kennedy and the Current Adulter-in-Charge were members of the same (wink, wink) political party!

The liberal apologists brought up the fact that it was merely the more tabloidized composition of today's media that brought these "facts" to light, wondered aloud whether these "facts" were really (wink, wink) "facts," and finally, in desperation used the very dangerous argument that it has been EVER SO.

"No, no!" cautioned the conservative flavored blah-blah artists. "You can't escape so easily, evil Liberal demons! How can we trust a man who cheats on his wife, his partner, his closest companion...to tell us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

How INDEED? Tell, me, is there ANYONE out there left who EVER trusts what a politician says? I mean, one of the favorite quips by stand up comedians is that you can tell when a politician is lying by when he is moving his lips. I for one, neither know nor care whether any of these stories is true...about Kennedy, Clinton, Eisenhower, Roosevelt or Lincoln. And I promise that I will never write on this subject again...criss-cross my heart and hope to die. For, I would be much more worried if I heard that the president is NOT getting laid at all, than to worry about him getting too MUCH nookie!

Besides, there is a simple solution to all this. Let's just elect a woman president! While some might argue that women are just as duplicitous when they become politicians as men, just as randy with their private parts...I simply don't believe it. Sure examples abound to "prove" this, but I still don't believe it. I mean, when was the last time your mother told YOU a whopper?

Talk to you later...

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